A Doll Dances

Change prickles the air all around me and I squirm uncomfortably. I’ve been trained to cultivate balance, to inhale and exhale, but I fail miserably as I dart from one activity to the next. I don’t feel like I’m breathing at all and my eyeballs ache from tension. I can’t concentrate and I want to throw something hard at the wall. There’s nothing that I am able to control and so I feel helpless. And I hate feeling helpless.

I’m playing a waiting game. Waiting to hear back from so-and-so, which effects the decision I’m waiting on from so-and-so, as well as waiting for work to be done, for choices to be made, for actions to begin. And so I am biting my nails, gritting my teeth, and pacing. Back and forth, back and forth. Still, I cannot make anything happen yet.

I search schedule after schedule of dance studios. I want to take class and work and sweat. I need to get my endorphins to release. If I’m going to have to struggle mentally, I might as well do it physically, too. But none of the times work out for me and I end up frustrated and irritated.

And so I dance alone. I choose music that is moody, indecisive, yearning and melancholy. It reflects my simmering kettle of emotions. There’s not enough heat to boil, but there is enough to agitate. My anxiety is tangible, leaving a flat metal taste in my mouth. Perhaps it’s related to the lead that I feel in my chest. I force my hands to uncurl from the fists they are automatically making and begin walking around the pole. I let the music move my body. There is anguish in my movement, tense recoil in my muscles. I don’t worry about the tricks, but I push my lines further and further. The angles that I normally make become more elongated as I reach as far as I can away from my center. I don’t think. I just am.

A Darn Good Post from A (Male) Guest Bloggist

Why every woman should take pole fitness:

Ok, to start this off on the right foot; I’ll just get it out there that I’m a guy, and no guy has any business ever giving women advice or telling them what is right. Just the fact it comes from a guy means its bs and he’s obviously wrong. So stop reading now.

I said stop reading.

Ok, if you’re still here you don’t follow instructions very well. I am going to voice my opinion anyway and likely be damned for it. So read at your own risk.

I’m a guy who loves to study women. Yes, in every creepy weird way I love to try to figure out what makes them tick. I know there is no answer; I know any answer is subject to change at any moment but for some reason it is all fascinating to me . I love the 1001 ideas of “what a woman really is “ inside every woman’s brain, all at the same time and the huge gap between those ideas and the reality of what women actually do and actually are. Women have a self-image that is constantly shifting within American society and their own personal self-image that is sometimes in direct conflict with society’s view and somehow in the moment it’s still the right way to be.  Sound confusing. I’m guessing it is and I’m only peeking through one window, who knows what’s really going on? 

So I guess I had better get to the point. Every woman should take pole fitness. Why? Look most women in the United States are constantly bombarded with images of what “sexy is” and why they are not. You allways having some short coming being pointed out to you by some magazine or commercial. You have to have “X” to be more perfect. I’ll let you in on 3 secrets. First, every guy knows the sexiest thing is confidence.  It’s just that simple. When you are confident everyone wants to be around you. Second everyone can be confident. If your not born with it you can learn it. Get naked, look in the mirror and say, “This is what I have!” and be truly happy with what you have. It’s freaking special there is only one of you in the universe, and there will never be another. Which brings me to secret #3: someone out there thinks the worst part of your body is more than just awesome but likely has some fetish about it. 

Years ago all women thought huge asses were bad. Now thanks to J-Lo and Kim Kardashian, anyone with a huge ass now carries it with tremendous pride. And if you missed the memo, get out there and be proud of your huge ass, ‘cause most men love it. One personal example, my own wife is a 99.5 pound Asian (who have their own fan club following them) was living in South Beach. She loved the attention of being the "the token Asian girl" around all her gay friends, BUT; when she got pregnant (not a little preggers, I mean the two, maybe three chins and the funny waddle going on) the Latin guys went crazy. It was the first time she had guys whistling at her walking down the street. When she thought she was at her worst,  there were still guys more than willing to flirt and be, what I would call, our normal idiot selves. The reality is: for every body type there is some group of men who would put you on a pedestal. Did you know there is a fetish for almost every part of a woman, and usually it’s some part they try to hide? The muffin top is the Holy Grail to some men, the flabby part on the underside of your arms, drives some men nuts. Hey-- you with the crooked toes, there is a group of men dying to kiss and honor your feet. Really, all us guys are not that hard to find, you just have to learn to be confident with what you have and suddenly you will find hundreds of them. And like your friends say, don’t take the first guy who loves your creepy toes, there are others out there. (Trust me, really!)

Which brings me back to the point: you need somewhere to practice your confidence. There is no better community than a place where other women are just learning to move their bodies in that same way, too. Did your mom really teach you how to walk in heels? When did you ever practice being sexy? Where do you practice the wink and the partial lip bite (god that’s hot!). Where do you get to practice saying, “This is who I am and screw anyone who disagrees.”?  Pole studios are the only place I know of where women can learn and practice these things, plus get in shape, and make some great friends. A pole studio offers all this and more.

Look, as a guy I have a vested interest in seeing women be happy. The happier women are surprisingly the more things in the world are not my fault and I get to have more fun. So there is no reason for me to lie or make dumb suggestions.

I’ll be brutally honest. Your mom lied. Bad girls do have more fun.  Society lied--there are no barriers or lines in the sand. You can be a great mom, a dirty slut, and a successful businesswoman and not be a bitch. You can be a dom and a sub in any situation and change your mind at any time, and still be in total control. We think in black and white terms, yes and no answers. We all know reality isn’t that simple, and neither are people--especially women. We are moving towards a society where roles are not defined by genitals and where you put them, and it’s going to be as confusing as hell for a while. So put on some lipstick, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

There are skills you know you don’t have. There is a level of confidence you wish you could attain. A pole studio is a fun safe place to practice, play, succeed and even sometimes fail. When you do occasionally fail you will have tons of support on how to get back up and try again.  Gyms and diets are about making a new you. Pole fitness is about finding the you that is already there and just helping you believe in her.

One class is all it takes; trust me you will get hooked.